After seven hours of troubleshooting this live diary, my brain just want to sleep or watch another Korean TV series. Oh, I still have to eat. Perhaps it is Black Saturday almost full moon that such a thing happen. I've thought I completely lost all the posts.
Anyway, I have started another K-Series called Tomorrow. I feel like the universe is telling me the reason of my second life –– my stronghold will to live. All those negative energies I have bottled up make sense somehow. I am embracing life now to the fullest. I am not allowing anyone or anything ruining it for me. I know exactly why I have come to point of insanity. I let my guards down because someone ask me to, which turns out to be detrimental on my part.
Love is my downfall indeed. But, I have a son now. He is from me. Loving him is no different from loving myself like I use to back in the days. I think he is the only one I could truly love from now on.
I switch watching to what supposed to be a feel-good romcom (Because this is my first life). It turns out, more life lessons from the great cosmos –– I am responsible for my own happiness. Nobody can make me happy except myself. My mistake for years is delegating or trusting such existential need to someone.
Taking my power back,
sC